Second Honestly

I'm sad. But i can look at people in the eye and say i'm okay. But i'm happy. And i don't understand how i can be? my life overall is okay. i have good days, i have bad days. And i have days here just want to sit in bed and cry but i'm happy. I don't understand how i can be sad but happy. I guess i just need more time to figure out. If there's enough time in the world. 

Honestly

I honestly have no idea why i still torture myself by visiting his facebook profile, or another social network that he has. Everytime, there's a small but deep pang of sadness, loneliness, and longing. Yet i do it over and over. 

Emotion

I envy people that grew up in a strong family, one that has stood through the stroms and has never had to endure the broken pains of addiction running through it. I envy people that had parents who loves then enough to never lay hand or an abusive comment on them. I envy people who's families prayed at every dinner every day and had friday nights together watching movies and loving each other's company. I envy togetherness, they've never had to suffer for lack of want, for lack of attention, and never had to experience the dread ad anxienty of broken bonds.

(patrick)